This weekend I played Trauma. It’s an interesting game, but I’m not sure how I feel about it. It left me with a sense of futility and lack of accomplishment. I think that might actually be the point, really.
The game is a series of dreams being had by a young woman who is in the hospital recovering from a serious car accident. Like real dreams, they can be repetitive and monotonous. Also like real dreams, each one can have moments where a bit of the imagery from a different dream peeks through. (Keep this in mind as you play. If you get stuck, go have a different dream and you may find the clue you need for the first one.)
Again like real dreams, each sequence seems to hold symbolism whose meaning you just can’t quite pick out. Sure, there are obvious messages, such as over-protective parents pushing you in directions you might not want to go, But seeds of life that become overwhelming burdens instead? Things never seem to work out how you intended them too, but this imagery leaves me with a nagging feeling that I’ve missed something. I expect I have.
In the end of the game, the memory of the dreams becomes just that – just a memory – and your character goes back home to her apartment to pick up her life where she left it, but with a gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction. Much like my own weekend, actually. I went into the weekend with the intention of working on a piece of code I’ve been writing, but instead I ended up doing other things, some useful, some not. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Reading (Game Programming Gems and The Mythical Man Month). In the end I wrote no code. I didn’t even look at it!
And now it’s back to work for another exciting week of fixing broken websites.
I think the most unnerving thing about Trauma is that it left me with the same feeling that I actually have when I reflect on my own dreams and aspirations.